


Avenger's Proverbs

by pianobookworm



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: And Hawkeye Is Too, Avengers Family, Avengers Tower, But you already knew that, Crack, Domestic Avengers, Early Mornings Don't Agree With The Avengers, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Pre-Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers, Tasertricks if you squint - Freeform, Thor Is Not Stupid, Thor is a troll, except Steve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-06-10 03:25:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6937780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pianobookworm/pseuds/pianobookworm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of one-shots based off of proverbs and sayings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Early Morning Blessings

**Author's Note:**

> So this is just short stories based of proverbs. I've based some of these off the book of Proverbs in the Bible, and if you guys have any suggestions for proverbs or sayings to base stories off of, let me know! Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine; also, I don't own Marvel, which I'm sure you already knew.

  
_If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning,  
it will be taken as a curse.  
Proverbs 27:14_

oOo

“Good morning, my friends!” boomed Thor’s voice through Avengers Tower. “I trust you all had a good rest!”

Tony Stark groaned as he rolled over. “JARVIS, what time is it?” he asked sleepily.

“It is six thirty-one a.m., Sir,” came the swift rejoinder.

Tony groaned once more and rolled over, pulling his pillow over his head.

They had been out very late last night, and today was a rest and recovery day. They were not supposed to be getting up at six thirty in the morning!

oOo

Bruce squinted sleepily at his bedside clock when he heard the ruckus, then fumbled around for his ear plugs. Putting them in, he quickly fell back to sleep.

oOo

“My friends! Is no one yet out of their beds? It is a glorious morning!”

Natasha narrowed her eyes at the voice which was sounding from just outside her bedroom door. She had been instantly awake and alert when she heard it, and now that she knew there was no emergency, she was slightly annoyed.

Silently opening the door, she took careful aim and flung her pillow at the Norse god, striking him full in the face.

“Go back to bed, Thor,” she remarked cooly, as she closed the door and proceeded to take her own advice.

oOo

Far from being discouraged in his quest by Natasha’s attack, Thor continued his rounds. When he reached Steve’s room, the super-soldier opened the door, rubbing his eyes.

“Oh, hi, Thor. I wasn’t going to get up for another…hour,” he stated with a yawn. “But since I’m up, I may as well go out for my run.”

Thor nodded. “I am glad one of the team has come to their senses. Everyone else appears to be either unusually aggressive or unresponsive this morning.”

Steve scratched the back of his neck. “About that… you might want to let the rest of the team rest until they want to get up. Midgardians need somewhat more sleep than Asgardians do.”

“Ah, I had forgotten that, friend. Thank you for reminding me. I shall attempt to leave them to sleep in peace.”  
Steve smiled. “You’re welcome. But if you want people to get up more easily, you could start the coffeemaker. I think that might coax some of them out of bed.”

oOo

Clint had slept through it all—well, naturally, since he didn’t keep his hearing aids in when he was asleep. So when the smell of coffee wafting through the tower woke him, he stumbled bleary-eyed into the kitchen and was shocked by the sight awaiting him there. Thinking he must be dreaming or hallucinating, he rubbed his eyes and pinched himself, but the sight remained before his eyes, so therefore it must be real.

Thor had started the coffeemaker quite adeptly and was toasting pop-tarts for his breakfast. Clint still could hardly believe his eyes.

“ _You_ can run the _coffeemaker_?” he asked incredulously.

Thor chuckled. “Of course I can! Do you think we have no technology on Asgard?” He looked at the coffeemaker. “It is true, we do not have this marvelous machine, but I have watched all of you run it, and it was not hard to fathom.”

Clint nodded. “I guess that makes sense. Does anyone else know that you can run it?”

Thor grinned. “Nay, and I would that it stays that way. It is entertaining for everyone to believe that I am ignorant.”

Snickering, Clint took a pop-tart. “Hey, I’ll help you keep up the pretense. I wonder how long it will take everyone to figure out.”


	2. Comparisons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy's opinions of a few of the members of the Avengers (and an extra)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's either Darcy/Steve, or Tasertricks, if you squint.  
> Please comment and let me know what you think!

  
_There are three things that are stately in their stride,_  
four that move with stately bearing:  
a lion, mighty among beasts,  
who retreats before nothing;  
a strutting rooster, a he-goat,  
and a king with his army around him.  
Proverbs 30: 29-31 

oOo

When Darcy met the Avengers as a whole, she couldn’t help but think that sometimes people in them reminded her of things. Specific things, in fact.

Thor was the most obvious one, of course. Once he had regained his armor and hammer and had stopped acting like an adorable puppy, he was like a lion. No, seriously. His long, flowing, golden mane, the regal bearing, the deep voice.

The sensation built up over the course of a few months, and then she just had to ask. “Hey, Thor, can you roar?”

He gave her an odd look, but he _was_ used to her asking random questions by now. “I do not know, Darcy. I cannot say I have tried since I outgrew my childhood playthings.”

“Do you suppose you could try?” Darcy attempted to use her best puppy-dog eyes on Thor.

He sighed. “Well… perhaps I might.”

Darcy couldn’t hold back the grin that began to creep across her face as the god of thunder let out a roar.

Just then she looked away from Thor to see Jane raising an eyebrow at them. Behind her stood Tony Stark, smirking as he watched.

“Hey, lion-heart!” he called. 

Thor whirled around, mane flying.

Darcy laughed and ran away. Thor was totally a lion.

oOo

The next obvious one was Tony. One of Darcy’s friends growing up had owned several chickens, and there were a few roosters in that group of chickens.

She grinned, thinking about those roosters, as she watched Tony. The bantam rooster had been the most cocky of them all, putting on airs as he strutted around the roost. She couldn’t help but be reminded as she watched the short genius in his home.

Right now he was arguing with Bruce about something. The soft-spoken scientist was doing his nervous chuckle, but was adamant in his opinion. “No, I don’t think throwing Hammer through an untested portal device is a good idea. You have to see reason, Tony!”

Tony dismissed Bruce’s protests with a wave of his hand. “Yeah, you know I’m right.” Fiddling with a couple of wires, he turned and looked at Bruce as if he were looking over the top of sunglasses. “ ‘Cause I am right.”

Darcy shook her head in amusement and walked off. 

The next prank war, Tony found his workshop full of rooster figurines.

oOo

The first time Darcy saw Loki she raised her eyebrows at his armor. _I mean, seriously? Who goes around wearing a helmet with horns two feet high? Wouldn’t that be rather a disadvantage in battle?_

But she kept her mouth shut (unusual, to say the least, remarked Tony) when she thought of the destruction he had wreaked in New York and saw the dangerous glint in his eye.

However, once she had lived in the same Tower as the god of mischief (and possibly of hot men) for a few weeks, she had gotten used to the idea of him being around. And of course, once that was the way of it, she began to—discreetly—observe him. It wasn’t quite spying—she’d leave that for Natasha. But it perhaps involved stalking…maybe a teensy bit.

And she came to the stark conclusion that Loki was not nearly as scary as he pretended to be. Sure, he had magic, he had a bit of “oomph” if you will, but he wasn’t really evil. He just wanted people to think that he was. But his pretending involved quite a lot of posturing and threatening. He also wore the horn helmet an awful lot.

So Darcy came to the conclusion that what he resembled most was a billy goat. He pretended to be all tough, could pack a mean punch if you got him worked up enough, and also could be a bit of a stinker—as she found out when she woke up one morning to find that she had green skin.

Seeing the prospects here, she immediately searched Loki out to give him a tongue-lashing, and then team up with him to prank the rest of the Avengers.

oOo 

And so it went. Natasha was a black cat; Sam was (unsurprisingly) a falcon; and Clint was a parrot, with his smart remarks.

The only Avenger she couldn’t find a comparison for was Steve. A bald eagle would have been the obvious choice, but somehow it didn’t seem right. The bald eagle would work for his public persona, sure, but he was much more than an american icon.

But one day she got to see him in action, actually avenging stuff with the team around him. Although she was usually far from the battles the Avengers fought, this time was different. A mad scientist had genetically engineered giant toads, and had set them to attacking the Tower. The Avengers had (obviously) immediately moved into action.

As she saw Steve’s air of command, his cool composure as he fought the hordes of evil, and his skilled placement of the Avengers, she realized what he was. Smiling to herself, she imagined a crown upon his head.

Yup. He was totally a king. _Obviously._


End file.
